I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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