Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
