She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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