does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
