Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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