this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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