I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
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I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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