He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
