i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
