The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
this just has baby written all over it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Two words: blizzard sex
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
its liver damage thursday
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
