Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
