too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
