so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
