Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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