I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize