I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize