you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
