I got chris browned last night
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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