I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
