I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
