Don't make out with my wife yet
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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