What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
