I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
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It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
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i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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