I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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