i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
