remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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