Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
