well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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