her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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