Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
