and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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