We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
