Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
