There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
