She's JV to your varsity
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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