Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
