guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
