dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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