Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
