He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
