i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
