seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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