i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
