How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
