Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
