he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
