does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
try to milk me bitch
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
