i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize