mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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