with your own penis?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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