He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
