Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
