and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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