She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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