she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
