never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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