Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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