So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
