So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
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Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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