just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
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She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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