I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
