yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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