Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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