and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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