We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
