You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize