whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize