problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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