At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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