I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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