I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
